i feel that describes me some what (Check that above)...Well, here I go again pining over you. I try so much not to think about you but it's hard to forget someone you really love. Being "Love Sober" is like a junkie trying to stay away from hard core drugs. Love is such a powerful emotion that can be so beautiful but hurt like hell when you are left out in the cold world. A certain show, a song, an article of clothing that I wore when I was with you, pictures of you and I, somehow flood my mind of happier times and memories. My heart cries out for you and you left me here out on my own. I need you right now more than ever. I'm going a rough patch and I thought I could rely on you. I feel so hurt that you left me. How could you say that you love me but leave me for someone bitch who did you wrong? I try to lay down to sleep but my mind is so restless since I can't stop thinking about how things went so wrong. You know that I want to be with you but I have to finish college first. I miss you but you could give a f*#$ less about how I feel. My love is so honest, deep, real, strong, and pure. I read something interesting about people with the biggest hearts always seem to get really hurt. I think it's very true. I gave you so many chances, I wanted you to be honest with me, communicate with me, to trust me but I get this feeling you never felt the same. I hate the fact that I try to go to bed at night I cry myself to sleep and you are probably able to carry on without one thought of me. I love you still and I know I shouldn't. I wanted this to work so badly and I felt so alone at times. Did I scare you away? I'm sorry if I did anything wrong that hurt you. I never meant to. I know when I get mad I tend to have a sharp tongue, be extremely blunt and honest. It's not done to be a "know it all" I say things that are the truth not to hurt you. I care for you and I know how women can be very deceitful, manipulative, and down right evil. Hell, Mya, put in a good way, " I know how a woman will try to game you, so don't get caught up because baby you'll lose." I couldn't agree more with that. I know she is going to hurt you again and you don't believe me. I am very protective and loyal to the ones I love and I don't want you to get screwed over again. You don't think you will but I know deep in my heart she'll fuck you over again and again. I have a funny feeling you'll come running back to me but I'm scared of getting hurt by you again. You told me that you end up hurting people that care so much about you. I have such a strong feeling that you feel you are not worthy of the love that I or your family and friends want to give to you. You're scared of what's really good for you but you opt for people who treat you like garbage. You are not trash but a beautiful diamond in the rough. You push the ones that love you the most away in fear of getting hurt too. There are people who are willing to be there for you no matter what you're going through in life. I WANT TO BE HERE FOR YOU. But you claim to longer need me. I know you still do despite what you say. It seems my loyalty, kindness, and my trustworthy heart get me into so much trouble. It's hard for me to dislike you even though you put me through so much bullshit. I can't find it in my heart to hate you. I just can't. I don't know what else to say. All I can do is count the days and pray to God that things will get better for me to heal and for you to know that I'm the ONE who really loves you.
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